Caregivers
Addiction doesn't just impact the person with the addiction. It also affects their partner, their kids, their family members and their friends. It's not easy to help someone who is struggling with addiction but sometimes, as a close friend or family, you can make the biggest difference.
Family members also struggle with mental health and stress related issues from dealing with the problem. They need to take care of themselves as well.
You're not alone.
Starting a conversation about alcohol, drug, or behavioural addictions can be difficult. Your loved one may not be ready to accept help immediately. The goal is not to convince them in one conversation, but to express your concern, keep communication open, and support them in taking the first steps toward recovery.
Approach with Care, Not Confrontation
Be caring rather than harsh. Instead of confronting the person, be persuasive. Go in knowing it won't be an easy conversation and be prepared to keep your cool. Avoid anger and assigning blame. Choose a calm moment to talk. Focus on your concerns rather than criticism or blame.
Instead of: "You have a problem."
Try: "I'm worried about how things have been affecting you and those around you."
Using non-judgemental language can help your loved one feel heard and less defensive.
Express Concern and Offer Support
Start by showing concern and your willingness to help. You could say how you feel, like "I've noticed you've been struggling lately, and I'm concerned about you.", "I'm here to support you whenever you're ready to talk."
Focus on listening rather than arguing or trying to force change.
Understand That Addiction Is a Health Condition
Addiction is not simply a matter of willpower. It is a recognised health condition that can affect a person's physical health, mental wellbeing, relationships, and daily functioning. Understanding this can help families approach the situation with empathy while encouraging appropriate treatment and support.
Encourage Professional Help
Be prepared with information on available support services and treatment options. You can:
- Share information about treatment services
- Offer to make an appointment together
- Accompany your loved one to their first consultation, if they are comfortable with it
If they are not ready to seek help, avoid pressuring them. Let them know support remains available when they are ready.
Offer Hope
Many people who receive treatment go on to improve their health, relationships, and quality of life. Change may take time, but every step towards seeking help is progress. Your encouragement and support can make a meaningful difference in their recovery journey.
Recovery Involves the Whole Family
Recovery is not only about the individual receiving treatment. Family members and caregivers are often affected as well. As a caregiver, it is important to:
- Seek support when needed
- Learn about addiction and recovery
- Maintain healthy boundaries
- Take care of your own wellbeing
Supporting a loved one is easier when you are also looking after yourself.
Need Support for Yourself?
Even if your loved one is not ready to seek treatment, caregivers and family members can still seek professional advice and support to better understand the situation and explore ways to help.
Learn more about counselling and support services through our Family Matters programme.
Understanding Substance Use Disorders
Substance use can affect a person's physical health, mental wellbeing, relationships, and daily life. Addiction is a health condition, not simply a matter of willpower. Understanding what your loved one is going through can help you provide support while encouraging them to seek help.
Starting the Conversation
Choose a calm and private moment to talk. Talk to the substance abuser about your feelings. That might, in turn, trigger honesty from them. Getting them to talk about the problem is an important step to helping them seek treatment.
Encourage Help and Recovery
Listen and be supportive but don’t get into an argument. Demanding that your loved one stops abusing drugs or alcohol doesn’t help. Show instead that you care and you want them to seek treatment and to recover. Avoid moralising and focus on the consequences of addiction instead. Make sure you already know what to do next, who to call, and what the number is so that if the person who needs help agrees to seek treatment, you can make a call immediately. Have a definite 'next step' plan in mind, including a contact person for available treatment.
Gambling is insidious because it starts off as a social and recreational activity. However, the compulsive gambler soon slides into destructive behaviour that leads to lying, stealing, and pushing away loved ones. As with any addiction, recovering from problem gambling isn't easy but it can be done.
Although gambling doesn’t involve abusing a substance, it has a similar effect on the brain that drug and alcohol addiction does. Stopping isn’t just a question of will power.
How You Can Help
If someone you know has a gambling problem, encourage them to get help from a professional. While you cannot force someone to change, your support can play an important role in their recovery journey.
Starting the Conversation
Talking about gambling can be difficult, especially when feelings of guilt, shame, or denial are involved. Approach the conversation with empathy, focus on your concerns, and avoid criticism or confrontation.
Tips for Family Members
- Stay calm and be supportive. Tell them how their gambling has affected you. Recognize if they've made positive steps and praise them for it.
- Learn to say "No" to requests for money and get friends and family to adopt this approach as well.
- Get support from other friends and family, counsellors or self-help groups who can help you understand the problem and deal with its effects. The more support you get, the better.
- Protect yourself and your family, financially, emotionally and physically. If necessary, seek the help of a family counsellor.
- Remember that change takes time, effort and often several attempts to be successful.
The internet and online gaming are part of everyday life, but excessive use can sometimes interfere with school, work, relationships, sleep, and overall wellbeing. Like other addictive behaviours, problematic internet or gaming use can become difficult to control without support.
Supporting a Loved One
If you are concerned about a family member's internet or gaming habits, start by having an open and supportive conversation. Focus on the impact of the behaviour rather than the amount of time spent online alone.
- Monitor computer use: Get your child away from the computer or smartphone and get him or her to engage in outdoor activities.
- Encourage a healthy balance between online and offline activities. Set clear and realistic boundaries around screen time where appropriate.
- Set an example: You're probably guilty of using the computer too much too. Cut down on your own use and instead, spend time helping your child with homework, playing a board game, or engaging in some other fun family activity.
- Talk to your loved one: If your child constantly wants to be on the computer, tell your child that you are concerned about the amount of time that he/she spends online.
Seeking Help
If internet or gaming use is affecting daily functioning, relationships, studies, or work, professional support may help. Early intervention can prevent problems from becoming more severe.
A loved one's addiction issues can severely impact family and friends as well. Family members often struggle to cope and may experience their own mental health problems as a result.
That's why it is important for family members to get support. Family members who receive counselling or attend support groups experience less emotional distress. Partners who go through couple therapy experience healthier relationships and lower the risk of domestic violence than those who do not receive any form of help.
Become Part of the Solution
Family involvement in treatment increases treatment compliance and enhances the outcome for the person with addiction. If a family can get psychological help, they can break the negative cycle, learn positive coping mechanisms and play a major part to their loved one's recovery.
Join a Support Group
A weekly support group for individuals who have loved ones with drug and/or alcohol addiction. It offers guidance to deal with addiction problems at home and provides support for self-care.
Support for Caregivers
Seeking direction or support during challenging times? NAMS offers individual counselling service for caregivers of persons with addictions. From stress management to effective coping strategies and beyond, we are here to provide the support you require.
