Anger is a natural human emotion that we all experience from time to time. It not bad as it can help us instinctively detect and react threatening situation. However, allowing anger get out of control lead problems in both our professional personal lives.
How to control your anger
- Take a timeout: If you feel your anger will lead to say or do something might regret, take a few minutes calm down before reacting. You may want try counting 10 and/taking deep breaths.
- Get some space: Walking away or distancing yourself from the situation can defuse your temper and give you a better perspective on things.
- Learn to express your anger in a constructive way: It is healthy to express your frustration in a non-confrontational way. Some healthy ways include hobbies that you enjoy. It can even be as simple as doing housework.
- Get some exercise: Physical activity not only provides an outlet for your emotions but has the added advantage of producing calming endorphins in your body to help you relax. Go for a brisk walk, run or a swim.
- Practise relaxation skills: Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help you to control your temper. Practise deep-breathing exercises or visualise a relaxing scene. Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.
- Think carefully before you say anything: Otherwise, in the heat of the moment, you are likely to say something you will regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues.
- Identify solutions to the situation: Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand. Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticising or placing blame on the other person.
- Don't hold a grudge: If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. Focus on moving forward.
- Use humour to release tension: Humour can help diffuse tension. Sharing a joke or looking at the situation in a light-hearted way will help to diffuse the situation.
- Avoid alcohol and other drugs: Using alcohol, illegal drugs, or over-the-counter drugs will not solve your problems. In fact, they will only make them worse or create further problems.
- Get support: It always help to talk with someone who knows or cares about you. These people may include: family members, friends, co-workers, counsellors, support group members.
- Relaxation techniques: Imagine that the anger you are feeling is a fire burning inside your body. Visualise that fire. Find a glass of water. It is best if it is cold. As you drink this glass of water, visualise the cool water running down your throat and into your body. As the water travels down your throat, visualise the water pouring over the fire that is representing your anger. Visualise the fire being extinguished by water.
Bear in mind that the more you practise these skills, the easier it will be for you to handle your anger. Uncontrolled anger not only hurts people around us, it can also hurts us physically, emotionally and mentally. Studies have shown that people who lose their temper easily are at higher risk of developing health problems such as digestive problems, depression, high blood pressure and a weak immune system.
