Anger is a normal and common feeling that arises when we feel threatened. But like fire, it can become harmful if not managed properly.

Uncontrolled anger can lead to problems at work, in relationships, and overall quality of life. It not only hurts people around us, it can also hurt us physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Studies have shown that people who anger easily are at a higher risk for health problems. Holding onto anger for a long time can lead to various health issues, including stomach problems, feelings of sadness, high blood pressure, and a weakened immune system.

Addressing and managing anger in a healthy way is important to prevent these negative effects on the body and mind. The source of anger is not always within your control, but how you express your anger is!

Common causes and triggers of anger include: interpersonal relationships; dissatisfaction about life goals; social stressors; life stressors and the daily hassles of life.

Signs and Symptoms of Anger Issues

​Understanding the signs and symptoms of anger issues is crucial for recognising when your anger becomes a problem. Look out for these symptoms early to take steps to manage your anger effectively:

Physical signs

Increased heart rate - When a person is angry, their heart rate and blood pressure go up. This is because of a rise in levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. The body's instictive "fight or flight" response to an attack triggers these reactions.

Tension or tight muscles - Anger often leads to muscle tension, particulary in the neck, shoulders and back.

Clenched fists - Clenching fists, shaking and trembling are common physical signs of anger. It can be a subconscious reaction that indicates a person's readiness to defend himself.

Other physical signs - Sweating, feeling hot or flushed

Emotional signs

Moodiness - Feeling irritable and short-tempered. Minor disagreements can provoke a disproportionate emotional response.

Frustration - Feeling persistently frustrated, especially when things don't go as planned

Resentment - Holding grudges and feeling resentful towards others for past actions or perceived wrongdoings is a common sign. It can worsen and grow, leading to more intense feelings.

Other emotional signs - Feeling anxious, depressed or overwhelmed

Tip: Visualise anger as a fire and imagine pouring cold water over it to extinguish its flames.

Using alcohol or drugs won't help with anger issues. It will only make things worse. Seek healthier ways to cope with anger. Talk to someone close to you and practise relaxation techniques to help keep things under control.

In some extreme cases of poor anger management, seeking help from a mental health professional may be useful.

How to control your anger

• Take a timeout: If you feel your anger will lead to say or do something might regret, take a few minutes calm down before reacting. You may want try counting 10 and/taking deep breaths.
• Get some space: Walking away or distancing yourself from the situation can defuse your temper and give you a better perspective on things.
• Learn to express your anger in a constructive way: It is healthy to express your frustration in a non-confrontational way. Some healthy ways include hobbies that you enjoy. It can even be as simple as doing housework.
• Get some exercise: Physical activity not only provides an outlet for your emotions but has the added advantage of producing calming endorphins in your body to help you relax. Go for a brisk walk, run or a swim.
• Practise relaxation skills: Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help you to control your temper. Practise deep-breathing exercises or visualise a relaxing scene. Other proven ways to ease anger include listening to music, writing in a journal and doing yoga.
• Think carefully before you say anything: Otherwise, in the heat of the moment, you are likely to say something you will regret. It can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can stick to the issues.
• Identify solutions to the situation: Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand. Use 'I' statements when describing the problem. This will help you to avoid criticising or placing blame on the other person.
• Don't hold a grudge: If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. Focus on moving forward.
• Use humour to release tension: Humour can help diffuse tension. Sharing a joke or looking at the situation in a light-hearted way will help to diffuse the situation.
• Avoid alcohol and other drugs: Using alcohol, illegal drugs, or over-the-counter drugs will not solve your problems. In fact, they will only make them worse or create further problems.
• Get support: It always help to talk with someone who knows or cares about you. These people may include: family members, friends, co-workers, counsellors, support group members.
• Relaxation techniques: Imagine that the anger you are feeling is a fire burning inside your body. Visualise that fire. Find a glass of water. It is best if it is cold. As you drink this glass of water, visualise the cool water running down your throat and into your body. As the water travels down your throat, visualise the water pouring over the fire that is representing your anger. Visualise the fire being extinguished by water.
   

Bear in mind that the more you practise these skills, the easier it will be for you to handle your anger. Uncontrolled anger not only hurts people around us, it can also hurts us physically, emotionally and mentally. Studies have shown that people who lose their temper easily are at higher risk of developing health problems such as digestive problems, depression, high blood pressure and a weak immune system.

FAQ

When does anger become a problem in children and when should parents seek professional help?

Anger becomes a problem when its intensity is out of proportion to the situation. Red flags for when parents should seek professional help are:

• When anger lasts for a long time
• When the child expresses anger in an aggressive or destructive manner

Children who are constantly angry and easily provoked may have difficulties making and keeping friends. They often don't understand social situations well and find it hard to understand the perspectives of others. They may also not consider the consequences of their actions before acting.

Why is learning to control anger around children important?

Children often model their parents and learn how to respond emotionally to situations. When parents yell and act aggressively, children learn that expressing anger in that manner is okay.